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Solar Voyager : Works In Progress

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  Archidan

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Joined: 2011-December-22
Posts: 26
Posted: 2013-September-03 at 7:54pm | IP Logged Quote Archidan

I've had computer issues the past few months and have had to use my phone to paint via Autodesk Sketchbook (fantastic little app if you have the patience or no other option). Now I'm back up and running with a desktop and can import some of my sketches back into Photoshop to detail them out and fix issues. This one is one of my favorites. I don't know why I think maybe the feel of it, however it has also bugged me the most. Something is off or just doesn't look right. I need a few pairs of eyes to look it over and let me know what distracts or bugs you the most before I take it any further. As always Thanks!
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  karl.garnham1

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Cosmic Enigma
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Posted: 2013-September-04 at 2:41pm | IP Logged Quote karl.garnham1

Wow

This is excellent it reminds me of David Hockney's ipad drawings and that is a good thing because he is a top artist. You should be proud of yourself well done.

Karl


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  Slammer

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Posted: 2013-September-04 at 6:21pm | IP Logged Quote Slammer

I like it a lot, the composition is great and I love the ships.
Where I think you could tweak is that I find the
background and the foreground a bit flat, both seem a bit
two dimensional and lack depth and contrast in comparison
to the ships and the moon.
For instance try to lighten and highlight up the snow and
perhaps a distortion mapping of the moon in the water
But thats just me rambling, great work.
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  GavM

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Planetary Explorer
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Posted: 2014-March-09 at 3:08pm | IP Logged Quote GavM

Hi
compositionally you could try reducing the moon size. it is quite a bright focal point and competed for attention from the other features in the painting. Often the starkest contrast is where you want the eye to go and at the mo the moon is it.
when the eye does explore the image the shape of the foreground craft leads the eye down and the waters edge leads the eye off the left of the image. I thing something needs to direct the eye back up towards the moon area. This could be an ice formation or a change to the distant vehicle perhaps.
This all sounds very convoluted written down hop it makes sense.

i also wonder how come the cravass has not got any water leaking into it?

i might also suggest a brighter highlight on the ships moonlit edges and a little on the snow below the moon.


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  Archidan

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Posted: 2014-March-11 at 12:10pm | IP Logged Quote Archidan

Thanks for the input everyone. Gav you brought up some good points I'm excited to revisit this painting with your input. Update coming very soon.
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  Archidan

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Posted: 2014-March-11 at 7:00pm | IP Logged Quote Archidan

Okay I've tweaked the composition now. I really didn't like the canyon in the foreground since it was below the sea level and didn't really fit. So I extended the water and added some reflections. I also painted a tiny mountain to guide your eye through the painting (it will probably need a little more maybe a outpost or antenna, but I'm going to try and address it with color). I've started to highlight the ship but I need to work on my contrast since the composition still feels a little flat. Maybe some atmospherics?
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  GavM

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Posted: 2014-March-13 at 4:01pm | IP Logged Quote GavM

Ah yes I think the smaller moon helps. As does losing the chasm.
Id make the hi-light on the side of the ship brighter than the illuminated cloud near it.
The mountain definitely helps the composition though perhaps move it over to the left more so its not directly under the moon, or even have it off the page so we only see a part of it curving up the side of the image which might guide the eye up and round without making the mountain itself another focal point.
The water going off the bottom right, IMHO, interferes with the reading of the image (ie it leads the eye away from the path we want it to follow)  I'd have some ground there and coastline but with not much of interest in it so we skim over it.
I also wonder if the second ship is necessary - how does it look without it?
I personally find the very smooth water a little odd looking but thats not to say it wouldn't happen.


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  Archidan

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Posted: 2014-March-15 at 9:52pm | IP Logged Quote Archidan

Update: Started adding color and trying to establish scale.
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